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Anonymous
Oh my! I just wish you weren’t anonymous so I could reply straight to your inbox, but I definitely don’t mind posting this, since it may end up helping a few people.
First and foremost, this is going to be a process. I’m not sure how recent your breakup was, but regardless of what your friends tell you, you aren’t just going to wake up one morning completely over it. When you have something that serious with someone you love and trust and it ends, you need time. But I can promise you this: when you finally get through this, AND YOU WILL, you will be the most amazing, strongest, independent, beautiful version of yourself.
I think the most obvious is to surround yourself with family and friends and things you love doing. This is the time to focus on you. For me, I had spent the previous three years more concerned about someone else’s life and had pretty much abandoned mine. It will take a while to get used to, but for the first time in a long time, you are responsible solely for yourself and it’s a realllly nice change. Focus on things you want to work on (I took up running!) and just do things you like doing.
Go have a shit ton of fun! Really though. Go out and party. Being single has a lot of perks, one of them being you can guiltlessly rage. College is about having a good-ass time and you owe yourself that. What whiskey can’t fix, there’s no cure for.
Cut off communication with him. This was the hardest for me and I definitely didn’t do it soon enough and it dragged my breakup out that much longer. You cannot possibly move on from someone you still care about if they’re in your life. You can end communication on good terms, but it’s really important to acknowledge this is YOUR time, not his.
Here’s what it boils down to: you will find someone better. If you didn’t end up together, it was so you could end up with someone else. If someone is dumb enough to walk out of your life, let them. It’s their loss. If he’s going to go out and live his own life, you need to do the same. The BEST revenge is having a good life! I realize this all sounds a lot easier written down than it would actually doing it, but a year after my breakup I am a completely different, better, improved version of myself. My ex is now just a memory and a learning experience for me and I can honestly say I’ve started a new chapter of myself. You will be okay, I promise you that. If you’re going through hell, keep going! <3
